Course: 'Eroticism 2.0: cybersex, sexting, and pornographication of intimacy in adolescence'. Delivered by Raul Marcos Estrada, from EMAIZE Centro Sexológico - Sexologia Zentroa

• Once again, Emaize Centro Sexológico is offering training related to the Internet, TRICS, and the digital era. What is the purpose of addressing this issue from the point of view of sexology? 

We find that the sexology approach, when addressing how TRICs have affected and affect everyday aspects of our lives, is fundamental, especially if we take into account that the Internet consists of people - men and women, boys and girls - who are not detached from their sexed beings when relating through these new digital spaces. On the other hand, we believe that addressing this issue from a sexology perspective contributes to highlighting the human factor that all interactions have and not so much the technological aspect, on which digital training is often based. We believe this approach, which deals with the sexuality of young people, is essential today. 

• To what extent has the Internet affected our way of relating to each other? 

Most of our relationships, whether with friends, partners, family, or work take place, to a greater or lesser extent, through various digital channels (email, social media, WhatsApp...). Even though we are the same, we do not behave in the same way offline as we do online. What's more, we do not relate in the same way when we communicate via email as we do on social networks. Communication, conflict management, or even the type of erotic relationships we can establish are marked by different codes when they occur through digital media. Distance, time, and space affect our offline relationships; however, these aspects are no longer important when we interact online. This means, for example, that we can be in constant contact with someone through applications, such as WhatsApp. Like everything else, this circumstance has positive and negative aspects, such as the control which we can exert over our partners through electronic devices. We should take all these aspects into account in our educational work with young people. 

• Cybersex, sexting… Is this the future of erotic relationships between people? 

Both are erotic practices used today. If you are asking whether these new types of erotic encounters are going to replace traditional relations, I sincerely believe they will not. The truth is that the Internet has made it possible to create a space that is less anxiety-inducing, in which the traditional risks linked to erotic relations, such as unplanned pregnancies or sexually transmitted genital herpes, have no meaning. This is not to say that cybersex is not without its risks, it just means that they are different and are related to the breach of privacy associated with this type of erotic interaction. This violation occurs when one of the parties disseminates the audio-visual material resulting from such sexual encounters.

On the other hand, digital eroticism is not influenced by genital performance, nor by contraception - which ceases to have meaning -, not even by space. One of the major difficulties for young people, when they embark on shared erotic relationships, is that, in many cases, they do not have an appropriate place, which leads them to have relationships in inappropriate places. In cybersex, this issue also loses its relevance, since each one interacts with the other from their own space. In other words, we play from the peace and comfort provided by our comfort zone. To all this we have to add that, in the case of cybersex relations, there is a positive expectation, not only regarding each other but regarding the encounter in general. These are real relationships, in which imagination and fantasy are essential ingredients that allow us to enjoy a much more positive experience than some offline encounters, in which reality sometimes is not as satisfactory as one had imagined. 

• What do you mean when you refer to the "pornographication" of intimate relations? 

In the definition of what we understand as pornography, it is implicit that such material, whether drawn, photographed, filmed, or even performed, seeks erotic arousal. When we practice sexting, or have an erotic relationship through Skype, for example, we are active subjects, but we also become objects at the service of the desires of the other party. In this sense, we become "actors" and even spectators of our own erotic life. On the other hand, social media and other digital communication platforms have made us believe that we all have an audience to whom we offer our intimacy in many cases as if it were a show. These are the reasons that lead to the "pornographication" of our intimacy.

When young people decide to practice sexting (i.e. when they send an erotic picture or video to someone special, often their partner), they are not aware that, from that moment, they lose control over that material and that at some point in the future it can be shared without their consent. In our experience with young people, we have realised that we need to directly address these aspects of sexting so that, if they should decide to indulge in it, they do so in a way that will not be detrimental to them. 

• This is a course designed for socio-educational agents who work with young people directly or indirectly. What can this training offer them? 

I believe that the digital awareness of most educational agents is quite scarce and often focuses on the risks, dangers, and the prohibition of everything sexual. Our starting point is different. We approach the subject from the perspective of the opportunities that the digital era offers us.

That’s one aspect. On the other hand, we believe that it is essential to be aware of new codes of communication and relationship when these occur through digital media, as many of the relationships among young people with whom we work, take place through that media. Offline life is increasingly affected by online life. Digital training often tries to intervene in the online dimension of our lives but I believe we should focus on our offline lives so that we can function well online, and not the other way around.

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